by Tommy Gimler
Did you accidentally pop a pill of Cialis this morning instead of Ibuprofen, and now you’re looking for a way to kill that throbbing four-hour erection? Try watching some University of Michigan football.
The Wolverines finished with negative rushing yards for the second consecutive week as they fell at home to the Nebraska Cornhuskers on Saturday by the score of 17-13. The DUD’s Indian intern Rakesh tuned in and called it the “biggest waste of time since he checked out National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets on Netflix, bro.”
After a 5-0 start to their 2013 season, the Wolverines are now 6-3 overall and just 2-3 in the Big Ten. So, when the product on the field is about as awesome as changing my grandpa’s diapers, we’d assume the only way to enjoy yourself at a University of Michigan football game these days is by crushing a 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best Ice before you go in, and apparently we’re not the only ones who are taking that approach.
Here is University of Michigan president Mary Sue Coleman addressing the crowd at halftime of Saturday’s game. Either she’s had a few too many Zimas or, well, she’s dying…
